When No One is Watching

I believe that integrity,  responsibility and respect are best shown in a person's character when they believe no one is watching. Recently, a class of college students and I were talking about the harsh realities of working retail and service sector jobs. A student told the class that she hated customers who always wanted something for free. She gave an example of a man at a fast food restaurant saying, "And that's buy one-get one, right?" Instead of saying, "I'm sorry, sir, but we do not have that special here." She said, "Yes, sir. You'll get one free." Then we went around the corner out of his sight, spit inside the bun of a sandwich and gave both to the man with a smile. 

Now, several things flashed across my mind in this situation. First, I can't believe she would do such a disgusting act. Secondly, she lied to a customer to get some kind of revenge, when he was asking a question she could have given an honest answer to. Third, she admitted to this atrocious act in front of all her peers and a teacher who is in a position to recommend her (or not) for future employment, and she showed absolutely no remorse. 

What do you do when asked to do something that is not policy? Do you cave in to make a customer happy? Do you lie to the customer and do what could get you fired? Do you take revenge on someone for an innocent question? Do you celebrate your indiscretions and wonder why blessings don't come back on you?

As an educator I'm often told by students I've got an attitude or I'm "cold" because I will not bend on deadlines or policies. I have worked far too long and too hard to build up integrity with those I value. If I were to break a policy to appease a student or customer when I know that doing so will put my company/school in a bad light, make my supervisor question my integrity or make me appear as a pushover when push comes to shove, I am the one who will pay the highest price for my choice. 

Here's an example. A student gets ill during an exam and must leave class. Later on, that student comes to me and wants to finish his exam. Do I give him the same exam knowing he's had several days to look up answers to the one he's seen before, knowing no other student got that opportunity? No other student would see if he did the same exam. It would be my word against his, right? It is worth far more to me to say, "I'm sorry, but I cannot let you retake the same exam. You can, however, take a different version of the exam at a later date." Then set a date with the student to come in outside of class hours to make it up. The student may tell me I'm unfair, that my attitude stinks because I'm implying he cheated, and so forth, but in the end, doing the right thing is worth the momentary wrath of someone who has put me in a position to make a call of integrity, responsibility and respect. 

Justifying Policies to Students and Employees

There seems to be a common culture of students and employees "questioning authority" instead of being intelligent and reasoning why rules and policies exist and abiding by them. I know as an employee, if I didn't like the culture of the job, I had the right to resign. If there was a serious issue, such as workplace harassment, I had a way to get the situation handled. If I had a personal struggle, there were employee assistance programs in place. Never once did I feel it was appropriate to become belligerent because I didn't like the rules or get into disagreements with my superiors as a student, educator or business woman about how stupid I thought the rule was.

Some rules are not fun. If a rule exists, it means someone, somewhere messed up and is causing issues for everyone else. If we were all respectful and responsible all of the time, there would be no need for rules or the law.

As a teacher, I continually remind students to do the right thing, but the big question is, what can we do with those who refuse? In the business world, before long, they tend to lose their jobs or quit. In school, students tend to fail, or worse, drop out altogether. Either way, retraining, re-educating and retention programs are costly on many levels. Wouldn't it be better for us all, especially with those who are frustrated with the system to find a better way?

Possible Answers:

• Superiors should examine the rules and see if they're all necessary.
• Employees and students should have handbooks of expectations and must agree to abide by the policies outlined therein.
• Employees and students need to know proper ways to handle grievances and problems that are genuine.
• We all need to stop whining and just do the right thing.
• If there is a rule or policy that infringes upon the safety and well-being of students or employees, there must be a way to restructure or remove it in a manner that is constructive for all parties involved.
• Remember, a job and an education, in most places in considered to be a privilege. In America, we consider equal education to be a right. However, educational systems cannot be all to everyone. The system should exist to benefit the greater good, and help everyone attain the skills necessary to leading a healthy, productive life. Happiness is a choice, not a promise. Rules and policies are to be followed as written (and enforced by those who are the gatekeepers) not by picking and choosing. Do the right thing, all the time. When you mess up, admit it, and don't do it again.

Do You Know the Rules?

The first step for success is to know both the written and implied (unwritten) rules for success.

I love this Legal Assistance site's list of frequently asked questions and their responses: http://www.larcc.org/pamphlets/children_family/rules_regulations_in_school.htm
Please note that this site's information was compiled in the state of CT and rules vary from state to state.

However, logic should be unvaried according to circumstances when it comes to responsibility and respect, and everyone should know your rights.

The Golden Rule: Used to be about "doing unto others" as you'd like to be treated. However, more are more I'm confronted with people who do not have a basic idea of what is appropriate. Their personal standards might be higher or lower than those they work with and complications result.

Mel's personal rule for success: Acting with respect and responsibility requires you to do the right thing every day, without reminders, even when no one seems to be watching. If you only follow policy when someone is watching, your integrity is lacking.

What are your rules for success?
-Mel.